Don’t Make Your Kids Bury You

Let the son burn you.

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Viagra Or Rogaine?

If I ever had to choose between the two, I would definitely pick Rogaine. Viagra can’t help you get the hardest gift that you could ever give your lover.

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Pay Attention!

If you think 103 degrees Fahrenheit is a high body temperature, boy are you in the dark.

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Have You Been Watching The NBA Conference Semifinals?

James Harden really wants a ring! He must not have heard about the Heart In Diamond yet because his beard would have been in our laboratory.

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Are You In Love With Someone?

If your answer is “yes,” then you should be willing to pay to have that person’s body set on fire at the appropriate time and place.

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Are You Going To Renew Your Vows?

Be sure to renew your wedding rings.

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They Should Be Teaching This In Sunday School

If you make the right choice while you are alive, you won’t end up down below after you die.

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Dead People Should Go Inside Cremation Ovens

It’s possible to get diamonds from people going inside the ground but only when they are alive.

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I Want You To Choose Cremation

I wouldn’t cry on you if you were on fire.

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Headstones

Under the R.I.P. should be OFF.

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