What Do Caskets And Tupperware Have In Common?

They are used to store food.

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Some Ovens Are Designed To Burn People

Surprisingly, this has not resulted in any lawsuits.

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Forget Forest Lawn

Make sure your family tree does not end up in a forest.

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Don’t Make Your Kids Bury You

Let the son burn you.

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Pay Attention!

If you think 103 degrees Fahrenheit is a high body temperature, boy are you in the dark.

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Are You In Love With Someone?

If your answer is “yes,” then you should be willing to pay to have that person’s body set on fire at the appropriate time and place.

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Caskets And Coffins

Wood and metal do not offer much protection to our bodies when we go inside holes–that’s what rubbers do.

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My Loved Ones Know Better

The odds are greater that I will be buried alive rather than while dead.

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Pet Sematary Has An April 5th Release Date

I imagine that the scariest thing about the movie is when the characters miss out on getting Heart In Diamonds after their pets die.

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Upon Your Death

Wouldn’t you prefer that your loved ones roast you rather than put you down?

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