Beware Of Envy

Friends can come in every color except green.

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Don’t Make Your Kids Bury You

Let the son burn you.

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Phony Cronies

Fake friends are real enemies.

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Viagra Or Rogaine?

If I ever had to choose between the two, I would definitely pick Rogaine. Viagra can’t help you get the hardest gift that you could ever give your lover.

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Pay Attention!

If you think 103 degrees Fahrenheit is a high body temperature, boy are you in the dark.

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Have You Been Watching The NBA Conference Semifinals?

James Harden really wants a ring! He must not have heard about the Heart In Diamond yet because his beard would have been in our laboratory.

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Are You In Love With Someone?

If your answer is “yes,” then you should be willing to pay to have that person’s body set on fire at the appropriate time and place.

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Hate

If you are going to hate people, at least make sure they are people you know.

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A Word Of Caution

Burning your bridges does not ensure that the corresponding people cannot come after you.

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Caskets And Coffins

Wood and metal do not offer much protection to our bodies when we go inside holes–that’s what rubbers do.

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