In Retrospect

I have advised you to celebrate after your loved ones die, to have their remains destroyed, and to spend money on diamonds instead of paying for their funerals…. It’s a wonder that I am still in business.

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Graves Do Not Make Good Sense

Why would you bury something that you want others to locate?

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Halloween Has A Very Important Message

STAY AWAY FROM CEMETERIES.

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Ovens

We all start out as a bun in the oven. It’s no wonder we end up getting burnt the second time around.

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Tell Them Now

If your loved ones really love you, they should buy a diamond for themselves instead of paying for your funeral.

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Egg Advice

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

Don’t spend your nest egg on one casket.

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Are Your Loved Ones Afraid To Be Cremated?

Remind them that chickens get eaten.

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R.I.P. Van Winkle

A grave will let you rest in peace for only 100 years (this is not much better than 20 in the grand scheme of things).

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The Truth About Honeymoons

I’m going to let you in on a well kept secret. Honeymoons are usually boring. Most couples get to where they arranged to go and find that there is absolutely nothing to do once they unpack. Even if they remembered to bring Monopoly, they discover that it’s not as much fun with only two players. This is why it is so important to have Heart In Diamond wedding rings. Couples can stay up and marvel at their awesome diamonds! Honeymoons can be wonderful when two people get to enjoy each other’s personal carbon.

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De Beers Learned From Heart In Diamond Customers

Heart In Diamond customers have been getting diamonds without paying for a hole to be made in the ground for years now.

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