Shavian

Animals are my friends…and my friends won’t eat me.

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Mary Jane Should Not Be Cremated

She should not be buried either because then she would grow.

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Donating Your Body To Science Is Great

Just make sure it’s not to zoology.

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Grass Is For Graves But Not Cremations

Lighting up grass should not even be legal.

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Most People Care About What Happens To A Loved One’s Remains

Just remember that getting eaten by worms is no less repulsive than getting eaten by vultures.

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You Will Die One Day

Just because your soul is dead meat, doesn’t mean your body has to be.

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There Are Two Kinds Of People Who Don’t See The Light

There are those who are in the dark. Then, there are those who are in the light but choose to shut their eyes.

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Left Over

After a turkey has been in an oven, you must not let any of it go to waste.

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Take Part In It

Putting a dead turkey in an oven is an honorable family tradition.

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This May Come As A Surprise

Smart people pay to have their turkeys burned.

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