To All Honey Bunnies

Let the lab guys grow your carats.

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Let Me Clarify The Previous Post

No matter what color your hair is, it’s been died.

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It’s Time For A Heart In Diamond

You’re not dead but your hair is.

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Public Hair For Your Diamonds

Please send in only hair that is shown in public.

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You Never Know

Every time I see a bald head, I cannot help but wonder if it’s the result of a Heart In Diamond addiction.

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One Night Strands

These are strands of hair that you cut from the head of your asleep sweetheart over the course of a night for your Heart In Diamonds to be made. If you are careful enough, the one night strands can be your own little secret. When you eventually come clean, expect lots of affection and gratitude.

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Your Ashes Are Not Yours

Never promise your ashes to anyone (and, if you do, never give a time frame).

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Stop Hair Loss

Start saving it.

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Are You Bored With Hair And Ashes?

Have your diamonds made from eyelashes and moustaches.

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Wear A Diamond With Your Soulmate’s Carbon

Fire the little devil on your left shoulder and let the little angel on your right one retire.

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