Who Goes To A Wake?

Pretty much family, friends, and whoever wants to see your dead body.

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Diamonds Are Forever

People are not.

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Forget The Funeral

Be there for me when I’m alive–not when I’m dead.

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If You End Up In A Grave

You should have been clear.

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You Are Not Dean Martin

Roast your loved ones but after they die (so no one gets hurt).

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Be Sure To Choose Cremation

Over burial (not a haircut).

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Forget About A Headstone

It would be horrible to make your loved ones pay for you to get stoned.

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You Won’t Know Your Ash From A Hole In The Ground

However, your loved ones will.

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Most People Care About What Happens To A Loved One’s Remains

Just remember that getting eaten by worms is no less repulsive than getting eaten by vultures.

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Left Over

After a turkey has been in an oven, you must not let any of it go to waste.

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