A Point To Consider

Lots of us will end up burning the Thanksgiving turkey but not get a diamond to show for it.

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The Thanksgiving Debate

If we really want to give thanks, should the turkeys become dinner or diamonds?

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In Retrospect

I have advised you to celebrate after your loved ones die, to have their remains destroyed, and to spend money on diamonds instead of paying for their funerals…. It’s a wonder that I am still in business.

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Graves Do Not Make Good Sense

Why would you bury something that you want others to locate?

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Halloween Has A Very Important Message

STAY AWAY FROM CEMETERIES.

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Ovens

We all start out as a bun in the oven. It’s no wonder we end up getting burnt the second time around.

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Tell Them Now

If your loved ones really love you, they should buy a diamond for themselves instead of paying for your funeral.

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Egg Advice

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

Don’t spend your nest egg on one casket.

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Are Your Loved Ones Afraid To Be Cremated?

Remind them that chickens get eaten.

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R.I.P. Van Winkle

A grave will let you rest in peace for only 100 years (this is not much better than 20 in the grand scheme of things).

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