Years ago, I had a friend who was more like a big sister. Her name was Anel. She was beautiful but I never developed romantic feelings for her. We were co-workers and pals. When we were laid off, I searched for employment opportunities for her. Anel was married with children and needed full-time employment as opposed to unemployment insurance benefits. I called her house whenever I found positions that I felt she was right for. More than a few times, Anel’s husband answered the phone. After a while, no one answered the phone when I called. Anel stopped responding to messages that I left on her answering machine and my emails. Soon, I figured out what had happened. Anel’s husband did not want her to have anything more to do with me. I was very upset with him until I considered the big picture.
If I had been Anel’s husband, whether or not I trusted her would have made no difference. I would not have wanted any other man to have a meaningful connection with my wife that I could not have been a willing part of. I will make no attempts to justify this way of thinking. In fact, I think it can be traced back to my personal insecurities. Love highlights our personal insecurities. It is a truly amazing emotion. Luther Vandross’s So Amazing (1987) is an amazing song that tells us how amazing love is. I get all insecure just listening to it.