Mined Diamonds Are Too Expensive

More than one person ends up paying for every mined diamond.

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Down Below

People in diamond mines want ice water.

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Hearts

Never give your heart to anyone. Let someone steal it.

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The Carbon Surprise

If you want to surprise your loved ones, give them diamonds with the carbon they are already familiar with.

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In Politically Correct Terms

Mined diamonds are for the emotionally challenged.

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Harmless Diamonds

There is no blood involved when a diamond’s carbon source is hair (that’s assuming the barber is competent).

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Cape Fear

A distinctive type of fear results when you realize that one of your terrible mistakes has come back to haunt you. This fear can be felt throughout the entire body. It is the basis of one of the most gripping films ever made. I saw Cape Fear (1991) when it was theatrically released. I was a freshman in high school. I was mesmerized from the opening scene to the end credits. I enjoyed this film so much that I wrote my college application essay on it. This did not seem like an odd thing to do at the time. I will always believe that the reason I do not like The Silence Of The Lambs (1991) is because I saw it soon after watching Cape Fear. Despite Anthony Hopkins’s brilliant performance, The Silence Of The Lambs was boring in comparison. So my advice is to see The Silence Of The Lambs first if you are going to watch them both in the foreseeable future. Trust me on this one.

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Thanks To The Heart In Diamond

Now, haircuts are for people with short hair too.

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It’s Not For Everyone

The only reason not to opt for the Heart In Diamond is if you despise all human beings including yourself (nonhuman carbon would better suit you).

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It Is Not Enough That I Should Succeed

It is not enough that I should succeed–all of my friends must as well.

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