Seriously

We are even more accountable for our laughter when it’s involuntary.

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Engagement Rings For Both Of You

Consummating an engagement is a lot like consummating a marriage. You literally give yourself to each other. The main differences between the two are that an engagement’s consummation is not nearly as much fun and must be done before the wedding.

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Oppose Dirty Diamonds

Diamonds should be as pure as their own content.

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Teammates

It is illogical to be a team player when your teammates are also your opponents.

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Graves Can Be Removed After 100 Years

Graves are temporary. Diamonds are forever.

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Do You Need To Go Back To Someone For Seconds?

Just remember that genes can only be blamed when you lose your own hair.

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Being Too Generous Can Be Bad For Your Health

Whoever wants a diamond that has carbon from your ashes will just need to be patient.

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Christmas Carbon

A lump of coal isn’t the only type of carbon that’s fit for a Christmas stocking.

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Don’t Get Your Diamond From Tiffany

Get the hair for your diamond from Tiffany.

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Thinking Out Loud

I have been a frequent patron of supermarket delis for twenty years. Many have the classic Take-A-Number ticket dispensers but no electronic signs. This means that you do not know how many people are waiting to be helped. Most of the people who are standing around probably took tickets. The tickets allow people to be in line without standing in a line. This saves time because you can decide what to order before it’s your turn. I used to have a habit of taking a ticket and leaving the area when there were a lot of people around. I would do light grocery shopping and then return to the deli. Most of the time, my ticket number had not been called. If it had been called, I would either grab another ticket or head home. On one occasion, I returned to the deli with my grocery bag and ticket. The deli worker called my ticket number. I proceeded to give her my ticket and a guy yelled at me. He stated that he should be next because I had left. His ticket number came right after mine. I was not in a rush and let him go before me. I couldn’t believe this guy. His turn would not have come any sooner if I had stayed. I thought about this incident for the next few days. It finally hit me that I had been in the wrong. I realized this after thinking out loud.

People often decide whether or not to take a ticket after seeing how many others are in the deli area. It is unfair for someone to get a ticket, leave, and then come out of the woodwork. That guy would not have found out how many ticket numbers were ahead of his until the next number was called. Even then, it is logical to go by how many people are already there because people can take tickets and change their minds. He might have decided not to wait if he had seen me beforehand. Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud (2014) acknowledges that voicing and listening to our own thoughts is a great way to reach logical conclusions. It’s a wonderful song. The lyrics are easy to learn. Pretty soon, you’ll be singing out loud.

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